Venting

Aarggh.

The energy bill for this little one bedroom apartment was over $200 last month. Now, that's pretty ridiculous, especially considering that I kept the heater off, washed very few clothes, keep the lights out, and wasn't here for a week out of the month. Plus, I was living in a house before this with a roommate, had two airconditioners running constantly, had a washing machine & a dryer there too, and there was somebody in the house all the time, and even the, the bill was half of what it was here. So, something was fishy. Thus, I called up WTU to ask for a reread. LP&L, the company I was with in Lubbock, was crooked, but they would do rereads on your bill. WTU will also, if you pay them $15. They overcharged me, and in order to get them to see if they overcharged me, I have to pay them more money. I, of course, don't trust their ability to read the meter either, so I cancelled the reread order. This is a bit of a problem.

The bigger problem is that this is so constant. I can't actually think of the last time I dealt with an ethical business. I'm regularly cheated by the energy companies. The tv, internet, and gasoline guys have gotten me, too. I buy my groceries at Wal-Mart, and the Lord knows they're not angels. I think I may start to buy my groceries elsewhere, but I'm pretty sure that United and H-E-B aren't much better. I would buy from a local grocer, but none exists that I can find. I buy gasoline, and you can't possibly direct your money toward an ethical gasoline provider. I buy insurance. Enough said there. And the government...

Worse, I can't even pretend that the paycheck I get every month isn't corrupt either. The ICON system up at TTU that I teach in is unethical. It's helping to create another generation of little automatons. I try to work against its evils however I can, but I can't overcome them, so despite my efforts, I contribute to the system, and reap personal rewards.

No matter how much I'd rather not have, I've contributed plenty to unfathomable systemic evils.

I try to comfort myself with the old "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's; and to God the things that are God's." Still...

I'm think that this is also a part of the reason that I've tended toward seminary and even more the reason I've become interested in some of the more counter-cultural Christian groups like the Bruderhof communities. Moreover, that's why I love Wendell Berry. It's seems like if I'm at least heading in that direction, I'm at least attempting to break free.