A Girl's Life...Installment Two

So, I went to the bridal luncheon. I was determined to perform adequately, so I wore my nice pants for the second time in like the last year (the other time was to a job interview). I also wore my nice Wal-Mart shoes that I'm not a fan of but that my fans seem to enjoy.

We arrived at the nice house, and the door was opened by the hostess's two perfect little blonde grandaughters in their princess dresses. We walked into the fantasy land.

We were given "mimosas" (a.k.a. orange juice), and I guess we were expected to walk around the house and admire everything. This was the crucial thing, seemingly. I know that this was the part my mom coached me on anyway. I was supposed to really, really express how I loved everything about the house. Anyway, the hostess walked us around the house, and pretty much everybody oohed and ahed.

Except me, of course. I tried, sort of. I just don't really have the ability to do that when I don't really care.

For instance, we were standing around immediately after getting in the door. The hostess yelled excitedly, "Ooohh, do y'all want to see my grandmother's furniture!!!" Some of the girls squeeled politely, and they all started walking briskly to the bedroom. I stood there while they all passed me. I guess I wasn't particularly interested. I was supposed to be, though, and so Allie (the last in the line of girls headed to the bedroom) whispered, "Come on." We went.

The hostess's grandparents were giants, evidently. The furniture was enormous. Then, the hostess pointed out the grease stain on the headboard that her grandfather has left. The girls made their "oh-that's-so-cute" sound: "Awwwwwwwwww" (or something like that). I thought the grease stain was gross, so I just sort of nodded.

Basically, that's how I responded to everything. My own feelings about the things I was being shown were evidently not going to be appropriate, so I figured it would be best for me to just keep nodding so that I was just agreeing with whatever utterance the girls who knew what they were doing mere making. They knew the language. I would have to trust them.

We then saw the bathroom which was as large as my apartment (I'm serious) and the creek that they built in their backyard. Yeah.

Eventually, it was time to eat; this was a luncheon after all. This was the part I was looking forward to, and I was starving. We lined up, and from the line, I couldn't really see the food since it was a round table and most of the food was on the other side of some sort of table decoration.

Once I reached the table, I started fixing the plate. I figured I'd take a little of everything and force down just a little. Unfortunately, I'm not overly adept with large utensils. The first dish was some sort of disgusting-looking white salad, and I accidentally got myself a heaping spoonful. You're not allowed to put food back. I paid dearly for this mistake when I started trying to eat all of the (still unidentifiable) stuff. Then, I went on. I got a spoonful of a second salad. Then, I got some of the third salad and a little more of the fourth salad. By this point, I getting around the table, and at each step, I expected that I would reach the actual food. I found myself at some tiny quiches. I got a couple and took another step. And there was nothing else. I was sad.

Lunch was funny to me. I was amused at how everyone at the table was so intent on eating quite properly. Everyone kept glancing furtively at the people next to them to make sure that they weren't doing something that the next girl wasn't doing. It was funny to me, especially, since all of the people from Abilene were seated together at the table. Everyone at our table was so intent on performing each step correctly, and yet, were were only performing for each other. The only two non-Abilineans at the table were under the age of seven.

The cake was good.

Then, Kalyn gave us our gifts. They were nice.

And we left.

I was surprisingly tired, but I had survived.