Florida or Arizona????

It’s time for me to retire. Really, everything I have done this summer has been just about what I would be doing if I were a retired old man. And I’ve loved it (for the most part)!!!

Just look. These are things I’ve been doing this summer. They definitely make me feel like I should be in my eighties.

1. Gardening – I’ve been keeping a lot of squash, a few tomato plants, and a few pepper plants going. Plus, I’ve helped Mom a little on her flowers. I’m not that good at gardening yet, but if I retire now, I should have a good sixty years to get good.
2. Reading – I’ve basically been an old man for a long time now, and so reading’s always been a good, relaxing passion, and I’ll be doing a lot more reading when I’m officially retired. This summer I have discovered the added beauty of larger print books since my glasses are so old (and I’m so broke).
3. Sleeping – We don’t have a recliner, so I haven’t gotten to take the proper afternoon naps of a retired old man. Nevertheless, I have slept a whole heck of a lot.
4. Quilting – I actually only quilted two blocks, and I wasn’t very good at it. Still though, this is a good sign that I should be retired.
5. Having Long Conversations with My Cat – Me and Abby are good buds. I’m definitely losing my sanity.
6. Watching The Golden Girls – At least I’m not yet pathetic enough to think their hot.
7. Eating an Enormous Amount of Grilled-Cheese Sandwiches – It’s kind of funny that people too old and tired to cook much often eat the same foods as do we college people too lazy to cook much. We’re not so different after all…
8. Church Game Nights – When I’m in Menard, the church is the social center of my life. Since the youngest people next to my parents there are in their late sixties, this is certainly the sort of place I would hang out if I were retired.
9. Going to Funerals – I’ve been an old pro at this for a long time and have had several to go to this summer.
10. Going to the Doctor – I’ve spent a lot of time this summer take Grandma there. This is good practice for when I’m officially retired myself.

In sum, I’m pathetic. All I need are some sweatpants.