The End of the World As We Know It

I always give my writing class an easy, fun writing assignment to kick things off. There are several prompts, always, but they all seem to choose the same one: “The world ended yesterday, and everyone’s gone but you. You’re pretty sure that you’re the only one left…Suddenly, the doorbell rings."

So, I just read through 13 of these essays, and I’ve read through several more over the years, and I realized that there are some patterns that repeat just over an over.

Evidently, according to wide consensus among Freshman level writers, these are the characteristics of end of the world:

1. You just wake up, and it’s gone. No flashes or anything.
2. There is always food laying on the floor all around you.
3. You’ll think it’s a prank from your stupid friends.
4. The first thing you regret is that there will be no new tv shows to watch.
5. The first place you go is always Wal-Mart.
6. You will be able to live off of cereal.
7. Despite the tv not working, you will, thankfully, be able to still play video games. This gives your life meaning.
8. One beautiful person of the opposite sex is likely still living. This is almost as good as video games still being around.
9. You’re not sure how the world ended, but Barack Obama clearly had something to do with it.
10. You sure do need a time machine.
11. And always, it ends the same: The end of the world was just a dream.