The Best Way to Get Back at an Evil Cat...

is to turn on the vacuum cleaner. The cat, no matter how insane and killer he is acting, becomes a scared little kitten the moment that vacuum begins to roar. Immediately, he knows that he is the inferior creature, totally at the mercy of me, the human whom he had just been attacking.

It's especially fun with little Tony because as soon as the vacuum cord is unwound, he attacks it and is right beside the vacuum when I turn it on. Then, he goes running under my bed.

Just today, he was driving me crazy because I was sweeping, and he was attacking the broom. So, I locked him in the bathroom. He hates being locked up in a room by himself, and so he started crying at the top of his lungs. And I thought, "I'll shut him up." So then, I started vacuuming. And it worked.

Though, of course, I couldn't have heard him anyway, since the vacuum was on.