Fasting

Well, I finished my first day of fasting yesterday. I have mentioned it in an earlier blog, but I guess I'll explain what I'm doing a little further. I've decided to fast one day per week this semester (Thursdays). On those days, I won't eat for twenty-four hours. My reasons for doing so are the normal ones for fasting. I'm fasting in order to further focus on the sufferings of hungry people and on the sufferings of Christ. It's clearly an inauthentic practice. No matter how hungry I feel, I cannot replicate the feelings of not having the prospect of a meal available. Furthermore, I'm only doing a one-day fast which isn't much of a sacrifice. Nevertheless, I think it's a discipline that I can develop and use to better myself and my ability to love. On the days I fast, I also will spend time praying, particularly for the poor and the hungry. Lastly, I plan to donate money for each day I fast ($10 per day) to a charity that provides hunger relief (most likely to Mercy Corps--which is in my links).

Anyway, I finished my twenty-four hours of fasting last night around 10:00, and I learned a few things through the day. First of all, I'm pretty weak. I went on a little trip to a store across town yesterday around noon, and the smells from the restaurants nearly got me (I was in a parking lot with a Johnny Corino's). The thought kept passing through my mind that I certainly didn't have to fast. I could start it next week. This isn't really a real weak in the semester anyway. I had even decided to stop at the Wendy's at one point. I ended up not stopping, but it showed me how easily tempted I was. I only a short way in to a short fast, and I was having trouble. I have fasted in the past, but thinking back, the times I fasted were usually when I was busy writing papers or such, and I was shut indoors and secluded. It wasn't difficult to keep up the fast. Being in a culture and environment so opposed to my intentions certainly exacerbated the problem. That heightened my awareness of the potential fasting has. Clearly, this culture is opposed to most of the ways I think I should live my life, and living in it as I should means two things. First of all, I need a counter community like all the narrative theologians say (somethings I've agreed on for a while). Secondly, I need some guts and some discipline.

My lack in the area of discipline was revealed to me at around 10:20 last night. Soon after the twenty-four hours was over (it really ended at 9:00), I went to Sonic, and ate a double-meat cheeseburger. After finishing the burger, I realized my usual hypocrisy. I finished a short fast and immediately became a glutton, gorging on greasy, overpriced foods. Fasting for that single day taught me quite a bit about myself. I've got a lot to work on. And I'm not looking forward to what I'll find out next Thursday.