My Longest and Most Depressing Blog Entry Yet
A couple of nights ago, a little event happened that I haven't really known what to write about. I still don't totally know what to think about it, but I decided to just write anyway.
Anyway, two nights ago the doorbell rings. So, I go to the door, and I see the back of a woman's hood, and I think it's probably my roommate's sister, and I open the door. It's not Will's sister. It's two noticably poor women in their late thirties, and when I open the door, one of the woman begins telling me a story about having run out of gas. She's requesting a gas can (or milk cartons to put gas in) and some money to buy gas. Her story didn't really make sense to me. She claimed to have run out of gas around 19th and the Interstate, and a Tech student had given her a ride to my residential district (a good bit further north) to ask for money there. Nevertheless, those words saying that love "believes all things" were ringing in my ears. Even though I didn't believe her, I didn't feel that my doubt was good reason to not help her out. I knew I had a gas can filled with gas in the garage. It was freezing out so I invited the women into the living room, and I went and got the gas can. When I gave it to the woman, she said that the gas wouldn't get them to Amarillo (though I'm pretty sure it would have), and she requested some money. I gave her what cash I had (only seven bucks). She then requested a ride down to her car on 19th street. That's when the survival instinct kicked in. If she were telling the truth, the walk that night all of those blocks would have been bad. Nevertheless, I was afraid to take these women down there in my car. I told them "no." They thanked me and left. And I felt guilty and safe.
The next morning, I woke up, and I went to the store. On my way out, a woman was walking in the parking lot. She approached me and told me that she and her husband (he wasn't there) had run out of gas and were stranded in the Burger King parking lot. She asked me if the two of them could have a ride down to fiftieth street (she didn't say why). I wondered if this was perhaps a second chance for me to make right what I had done wrong the night before. It was again a situation where I could either help somebody I didn't believe or leave this somebody out in the cold and feel safe. I made the same decision as the night before. I told her I had a meeting to go to (which I did-though it wasn't a mandatory one), and I left.
At the moment, neither of these encounters sits very easily on my mind...
Matthew 25:41-46: "Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.' Then they themselves also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?' Then He will answer them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."
I'm sure that every once in a while, He needs a car ride, too.
posted by John Pierce @ 8:12 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
(I just accidentally deleted half this post, and I am so pissed off that I'm going to get up and walk away from this computer before I throw it across the room. I'll try and post the later half later tonight.)
You have no idea how much I have thought about this very issue the last few years. I don't have any answers or advice or any "5 quick and easy steps to make you feel better...and...oh yeah...to love Jesus." However, these are some thoughts of mine.
1. Jesus told us that we are to seek and save the lost. He (and later the apostles) often connects this with the outcast: the orphans, the widows, the poor, the shamed, the adulterous, etc. We ("we" being those who take seriously the meaning of discipleship) too have taken this stance toward the ostracized. We have a responsibility to care for those that others choose to ignore. If we are to take our Savior seriously, we must take this task seriously also. So, give money and a ride.
2. One doesn't have to be a doctor to see that our culture is a fragmented mess. Sadly, this leaves us (being individuals) feeling like the world rests on our shoulders. The same applies to our discipleship. We forget (that is if we ever knew it in the first place) that when Jesus called for his followers to acknowledge the unacknowledged and see the unseen that he was talking to a community, to a church, and this responsibility was there's as a group. Now, I realize that each and everyone of us is responsible for our decisions as followers of Christ. To say otherwise is to make God some deist entity that is not concerned with each person as an individual creation and relationship with that person at all. However, God has always interacted with his people in a COMMUNITY, and those he interacts with on an individual way is for the benefit and redirection of the COMMUNITY. To take care of a microcosm within the community is the job of the community at large. Although God calls each of us into his family, to be adopted into his people, he calls the community to act. So, is the church giving help and rides? If not, why are you feeling so guilty? You have been forced to take on the guilt of an entire people, even though you have answered God's call to that community. Would God ask this of you too?
3. There is an undeniable difference between standing firm in what one believes in the face of death and foolishly running into harm's way. There is a big difference between working to give respect to those who have non and getting yourself stabbed for your 10 dollar bill and a can of gas. God did not call his people to be stupid. He certainly called his people to be diligent, to act, to not allow the world to spin another day as usual. But we must not forget that he also called us to be wise, to be prudent and to allow him to lead us. We can argue about what this means, but a dead disciple doesn't feed the poor either. Do what you can and praise God for the opportunity. There is no third party on judgment day that Jesus says, "We'll, what if..." There is only the "Well done good and faithful servant," to those that have served him as they could. Protect the poor but know when to protect yourself also. Jesus walked away from more mobs then he allowed himself to be captured by.
ps- Trust your insticts. They were created by God too. I have very, very, very, VERY little belief that there was a car anywhere.
So if God is good and the devil is bad then what is Richard Simmons?
Hate to be the pessimist here, but I can almost guarantee you those women did not need your gas, nor did they use your money to buy more gas. People who run out of gas either a) call someone they know to bail them out or b) walk to the nearest gas station and buy more. And why would someone drive a car with the gas light on if he/she didn't have money to fill it back up? At night? People who run out of gas do not leave their cars blocks away and walk to strangers' houses to ask for money. And it's a funny coincidence that another gasless woman approached you the very next morning.
I think that helping people out who are in need is a very good and Christian thing to do. But there's a fine line in discerning those truly in need and those truly panhandling you. By offering gas to the lady who "needed" it you were doing the right thing. By giving her money you were being panhandled.
I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about.
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