Reminder #43

Mail all of my Christmas cards before February next year.

Reminder #42

No matter how little is on tv, no matter how bored I am, no matter who is with me, no matter how much I want to make fun of him, there is never any good reason to watch Dane Cook's attempts at being a comedian.

Reminder #40

Don't smell asparagus pee.

Reminder #39

I've sort of been hooked on Sex and the City for a while, though I'm kind of ashamed of the fact (the movie was pretty decent, by the way).

Anyway, the other day I was watching it, and in the episode I saw, Carrie had moved in with her fiance and was having a difficult time having somebody live with her. She has a conversation with her friends in which she laments not being able to do the idiosyncratic things that single people only do when nobody else is around. They then have a conversation about the quirky things they do in their homes that they'd rather no one else ever know about.

Yeah, that started me thinking about my own quirks. One has worried me lately...

You should probably not read any further...

Anyway, I've gotten into this habit of going to bed with clothes on, but waking up with them all off. And I definitely never remember taking them off. I definitely don't go to bed planning to do this.

Yeah, this worries me a little bit. You know, what happens next time I go camping with my family? Or when I crash on a friend's couch? Etc.

Reminder #39
Buy some suspenders.

Reminder #38

Wash my tomatoes before eating them.

Reminder #36

Add the sauce packet. Hamburger Helper sucks without it. So does Rice-a-roni.

Reminder #35: A Long Week

You know that episode of The Office where Jim spends the whole day dropping hints to Dwight to make him think the day was Friday, rather than the actual Thursday, so that Dwight wouldn’t come in the next day. Of course, it works, and Dwight comes racing into work halfway through the next day.

The sad thing is, I’m about as bad as Dwight, and the Jim isn’t here.

Yesterday was Tuesday. I was going to a Tuesday-night basketball game, and I had the normal Tuesday schedule. Nevertheless, I remained convinced all of yesterday that it was Wednesday. At one point, I “corrected” a student who said it was Tuesday.

Things were worst, though, when I started working on the computers. I was installing a new program on all of them, and as I was doing so, I began to notice that several of the computers erroneously said “Tuesday.” I couldn’t imagine how they’d gotten off by a whole day, but since I had already the computers’ protection down and was working on them anyway, I started changing the dates to Tuesday.

I think I was on computer six or so before I realized that it was funny that EVERY computer in the library had gotten off a day. I was outvoted, you know.

They were right.

Reminder #36

Today is Wednesday.

Reminder #31, A Bachelor's Tale

Tonight, I was picking up around my house. Last week was rather hectic so it had gotten into rather a mess (though I’ve been doing much better than in the past of keeping my place neat).

One problem I encountered while cleaning was trying to discern the dirty clothes from the clean ones among those laying in my bedroom floor. This is a normal problem, and I usually resolve it by just washing everything that’s suspect. Tonight, though, I’d already done what I hoped was all of my laundry. I was neither wanting, nor expecting, for this pile to have any dirty clothes in it.

So I decided to sniff.

Technique is rather important when you decide to sniff out the dirty clothes. The sniff must be short, and you should always try first to smell only the most non-threatening areas of the item. For instance, smell the side of your boxers, the top side of the socks. It’s probably obvious, but avoid armpits. Usually, this will reveal whether or not this article of clothing needs cleaning without exposing you to too much risk.

The first sniff (of the elastic) didn’t reveal much though. Hastily (good sniff technique should always be slow and deliberate—except for the actual sniff itself), I moved downward.

Things smelled pretty fine. It wasn’t a soap smell exactly though. It was more of a nothing smell. Absentmindedly, for the most part non-suspectingly, I moved the boxers backward and smelled again.

So, Reminder #31

The third time is not always a charm.

Reminder #30

When you're trying to clean a lot of vines off of a fence and you plunge your hands and arms all the way into the mess, make sure that none of it is poison ivy or poison oak.

Reminder #29

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, supercalifratulistic never, watch Borat again.

Reminder #29

When you go to a wedding and are single, it's a good idea to take a long walk outside or to suddenly need to use the restroom whenever you think the garter and bouquet are about to be thrown.

Thankfully, I've learned this lesson well over the years.

Reminder #28

Today, I needed to do some homework. So, I naturally was seeking anything I could do that would distract me from the thing I needed to do. I decided to clean my refrigerator. After all, it hadn't been cleaned in a year.

So I cleaned it. At first, I couldn't tell what all was in there. I have this habit of just putting all of my grocery bags in the refrigerator, rather than taking stuff out of the bags, and then putting it in there. So, the bags were blocking the view of everything. I cleaned them out.

It was pretty bad. I found a tomato with green sprouts of some sort growing out of it. It was oddly pretty, the colors of Christmas. I also found some smaller tomatoes that had dried out and bounced like ping-pong balls. I found some milk-based soup in a little tupperware dish that I would have liked to have kept. That soup wasn't moving, though, so it all got thrown away. I found three half-jars of pickle slices from when my sister lived with me for four months. She likes pickles. I found all of my missing catsup bottles. I don't have to beg for extra packets at Sonic anymore (I was sick of buying more and more catsup). I found some coffee creamer that had an expiration date from 2005. I don't have any clue how that in here, seeing as it was already a month into 2006 by the time I moved here.

And last, but not least (in fact most), I found five three-fourths empty milk cartons. I don't know how that many managed to fit in there.

It took three full trash bags (large ones) to get it all to the dumpster.

So reminder-to-self #28:

Clean out the refrigerator more often than once a year.

Reminder #27

I really don't think I agree with this one. But my mom and my dad and my sister were quite insistent on it when they showed up. If everyone says it, maybe it is true. I'll add it to my collection of wise wisdom:


Don't wear a moldy shirt. Even if it has been washed.

Reminder #26

It's ok to not take so many showers.

Reminder #25

Do not invade Iraq.

Reminder #24

If you're going to go ahead and be born, make sure that your mother is not Brittney Spears and that your father is not Kevin Federline.

Reminder #23

Never steal anything while you are in David's Bridal. There are too many mirrors, and you have no clue who might be watching you.

Don't dance embarrassingly either.

Reminder #21

Don't write anymore disgusting blog posts, at least for several months.

Reminder #20

You know, if it’s in the middle of the night and you don’t want to turn on the bathroom lights because you’ve been sleeping and their ridiculous brightness will be too painful to you and will keep you from going back to sleep and you’ve slept in a sort of funny position, too, and you just don’t know how accurate your aim is going to be at that commode that you can’t really see that well anyway, remember: IT IS OK TO SIT DOWN TO PEE.

Reminder #19

When shaving and you get the hickups... stop shaving!


---This piece of wisdom, courtesy of Will.